I don’t love you anymore,” my husband said, but I survived the sucker love story essay example. Weekly essays that explore the joys and tribulations of love. Internet Explorer 9 or earlier.
Go to the home page to see the latest top stories. Alysia Reiner in Modern Love: The Podcast. LET’S say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true. Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses.
You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing. I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. They’ll want me to be happy. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story.
And what can happen as a result. Here’s a visual: Child throws a temper tantrum. Tries to hit his mother. But the mother doesn’t hit back, lecture or punish. Then she tries to go about her business as if the tantrum isn’t happening. She simply doesn’t take the tantrum personally because, after all, it’s not about her. Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum.
He was in the grip of something else — a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.